When to back away and what to do next. Not all angry reactions can be effectively dealt with. Here are situations when it is more advisable to back away. Number one: when you are too affected by an issue to view it objectively. De-escalating anger requires that you take yourself out of an issue, even temporarily, and look at it objectively. However, if the issue has personal meaning for us, or we are too tired to properly intervene, then we don’t have the resources to de-escalate the anger. What to do: withdraw from the situation and talk to someone you trust about your own feelings. Number two: when there are warning signs for verbal and/or physical violence. Your priority is always your wellbeing and safety. Warning signs for violence include a history of violent behavior, severe rage for seemingly minor reasons, possession of weapons, and threats of violence. What to do: get as far away from the person as you can and go to a public place. Number three: when there is influence of mood-altering substances. No de-escalating technique can help you deal with a person who has taken alcohol and mood-altering drugs, both legal, example, some antidepressants, and illegal, example, hallucinogens. What to do: disengage from the conversation and talk to them when they’re sober. Number four: when no amount of rational intervention seems to work. There are moments when a person is hellbent on raging and the anger will escalate regardless of what intervention you use. It is possible that the strength of the anger is significantly more than the person’s resources to cope. This is signaled by a tendency for the anger to still take off even after slowing down and cooling down, despite the absence of provocation. What to do: disengage from the conversation and reschedule the talk for another time. Number five: when there are signs of serious mental health conditions. While there are no categories of anger disorders in the Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders IV, the reference of most mental health professionals, some serious mental health conditions are related to anger. In these cases, intensive therapy and/or psychiatric medications may be most appropriate. As a rule, people who suffer impairment of reality testing cannot be expected to be rational or reasonable. Signs to watch out for: persecutory or paranoid delusions, hallucinations, past history of violence based on delusions. Chronic and rigid patterns of the use of anger as coping mechanisms may point to a personality disorder. What to do: compassionate understanding is key. However, disengage yourself immediately, as some psychotic symptoms are correlated with a tendency toward violence. Refer to the appropriate mental health professional.
