Understanding the energy curve, continued. Here are some key points to note about the energy curve. Number one, rational behavior. The baseline of the curve is rational behavior. This is the stage when a reasonable discussion about the cause of the anger can happen. Before an angry reaction, a person is said to be in that rational frame of mind. However, once the angry reaction takes root, people go into a state of mind not conducive to reasoning. It is important then to get the person back to a rational frame of mind. Implication: You cannot reason with a person during these times, when their anger is taking off, at the height of their anger rage, and even at the point when they are cooling down. You’ll just waste a perfectly good argument. Number two: takeoff. Angry reaction slowly builds momentum and the point when the anger is gaining energy is called the takeoff stage. The way anger builds in intensity differs from person to person. For example, some people start with hostile facial reactions, which progresses to shouting and which progresses to hitting the table. Other people build up anger in less obvious ways. They start with keeping quiet, and then progresses to physically withdrawing themselves from other people. The anger would continue to build energy until it reaches its peak. Implication: Anger naturally builds energy during the takeoff phase. Arguing back at this point, in fact, any conversation would just be futile. Don’t react, respond. Number three: cooldown. In this stage is the most intense of the person’s reaction. It is a turning point. The reaction stops gaining momentum and begins a steady decline. Number four: cooldown. Once the angry reaction has reached its height, it will start to subside. You can tell by observing the person’s behavior. Often, their voices go down to a level tone, they are not moving their hands as much, and they seem to breathe easier. Unless provoked further, the person will run out of steam. However, if you start arguing to the person or agitating the person even during this stage, the reaction can take off once again. Implication: Only when the angry reaction has slowed down can you introduce supportive behavior. Supportive behavior can be any statement that acknowledges the anger. Example, “I can see that this is an upsetting experience for you.” Number five: back to rational behavior. Once the individual has returned to this stage, you can begin to start talking about the problem reasonably. You may even start problem-solving at this point. Summary: When a person is angry, just let them vent. It’s the fastest way to deal with the situation.
