Listening. The ability to receive messages is as important, if not more important than the ability to send them. Listening is more than just hearing the words someone speaks. It is a total way of receiving verbal and non-verbal messages, processing them, and communicating that understanding back to the speaker. Many of us listen in order to respond. We are formulating our next message while another is still talking. We should instead listen to understand, to fully take in, process, and comprehend the message that is being sent. Active listening is sometimes thrown around as a buzzword, but it’s a valuable soft skill to develop. Active listening is a form of listening where you listen to the speaker and reflect back what you’re understanding the speaker to have said. You may also give the speaker non-verbal feedback through nods of agreement and other techniques which indicate you are listening and understanding. Active listening involves staying focused on the present both by giving the speaker your full attention and by keeping the discussion to the issue at hand. Reflect back to the speaker what you understand him or her to have said by carefully rephrasing the message such as, “So I hear you saying that…” Check for understanding and use I statements rather than you statements.
