De-escalation techniques. De-escalation techniques are skilled interventions designed to facilitate a person’s cooling down process, reduce the possibility of getting verbally or physically hurt, and gain control of the situation. The following are examples of de-escalation techniques. Practice active listening. Most of the time, all an angry person needs is an opportunity to tell someone how they feel and have their anger acknowledged. Seeing that you are genuinely listening to their grievance can help lessen the intensity of their angry reaction. The following are some helpful components of active listening. Number one: show non-verbally that you are listening. Make sure that your posture shows openness. Establish eye contact, speak in a soft, well-modulated, non-threatening tone of voice. Number two: reflect. Restate what you hear from the person. Example: “This is what I heard from you. You are mad because the package did not arrive on time.” You can also mirror back their body language in a tentative but objective, non-judgmental fashion. Example: “I can see that you’re really upset. You are clasping the desk very tightly.” Number three: clarify. Help the person make sense of their garbled, confusing, and/or illogical statements. “Could you help explain to me a bit more about what happened in the cafeteria? What do you mean by he bullied you?” Increase personal space. Anger can escalate if a person feels that he is being stifled. Make sure your body language is non-threatening. Create distance between you and the person. Help the person recover a sense of control. Angry people may feel victimized by a situation and may need to recover even a small sense of control. You can help do this by, A, giving them choices; B, example: “Would you like to move to a different area and talk?” C, seeking their permission to speak; D, example: “May I tell what I think about what just happened?” E, focusing on immediate solutions; F, example: “What do you think we can do to help solve this issue?” Orient them immediately. People temporarily lose track of their immediate surroundings at the height of getting overwhelmed. Orienting the person to the time, his location, and who he is with can help de-escalate a person. It helps a person feel less threatened if he knows where he is and how he got there. The goal also is to shift him from attending to his overwhelming feelings to recovering rationality. Invite criticism. Ask the angry person to voice his or her criticism of yourself or the situation more fully. You might say something like, “Go ahead. Tell me everything that has you upset. Don’t hold anything back. I want to hear all you have to say.” Agree if possible. If not, agree to disagree. There are cases when anger is triggered by a legitimate grievance. In these cases, it can help a person lose steam by hearing someone validate the presence of injustice. At the very least, agreeing that a person has a right to the opinion they have can help de-escalate anger. Reiterate your support. Emphasize your willingness to help. Example: “Okay, I don’t know how this thing could’ve happened, but you have my assurance that I’ll stay with you until we figure it out.” Set limits. Tell the person that you are willing to listen, but you’d appreciate that he tones down the expression of his anger. Example is, “I’m listening right now. I’d like to talk, but without the shouting. When you shout, it is distracting, and if this issue is important to you, then I wanna be able to concentrate without hearing you raise your voice. Can we start again? How did I upset you?”
