Objective versus subjective language. One way to make sure that a discussion remains constructive is to use objective rather than subjective language. Objective language involves stating your position using reference points that are observable, factual, and free from personal prejudices. Objective references do not change from person to person. This is the opposite of subjective language, which is vague, biased, and/or emotional. You are using subjective language when you are stating an opinion, assumption, belief, judgment, or rumor. The use of objective language keeps the discussion on neutral ground. It’s less threatening to a person’s self-esteem, and therefore, keeps people from being on the defensive. More importantly, objective language can be disputed and confirmed, which ensures that the discussion can go towards a solution. Here are some guidelines in the use of objective versus subjective language. Number one: state behaviors instead of personality traits. Subjective says, “You’re an inconsiderate supervisor.” Objective says, “You approved the new rule without consulting with us first.” Number two: avoid vague references to frequency. Instead, use the actual numbers. Subjective says, “You are always late.” Objective says, “You were late for meetings four times in the past month.” Number three: clarify terms that can mean differently to different people. Subjective says, “You practice favoritism when you give promotions.” Objective says, “The employee ranking system is not being followed during promotions.” Number four: don’t presume another person’s thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Subjective says, “You hate me.” Objective says, “You do not talk to me when we are in a room together.” Number five: don’t presume an action you did not see or hear. Subjective states, “She stole my wallet.” Objective states, “The wallet was in my desk when I left, it was no longer there when I came back, and she was the only person who entered the room.”
