Common myths about anger. Here are five common myths about anger. Number one, anger is a bad emotion. There is no such thing as a good or bad emotion. They are instinctual reactions and we don’t make conscious decisions for them to come. In fact, some anger reactions are appropriate, such as the anger against discrimination, injustice, and abuse. What can be judged as positive or negative, healthy or unhealthy, is how we react to anger. Number two, anger needs to be unleashed for it to go away. It’s true that anger needs to be expressed in order for symptoms to be relieved. However, expressing anger in verbally or physically aggressive ways is not the only way to unleash anger, nor is anger an excuse for a person to be aggressive. The expression of anger can be tempered by rationality and forethought. Note that venting anger does not necessarily result into the anger disappearing, although venting can relieve the symptoms. At times, processing personal experiences, seeing concrete change, and genuine forgiveness are needed for anger to go away. Number three, ignoring anger will make it go away. Generally, all kinds of emotions do not disappear when ignored. The anger just gets temporarily shelved and will likely find other ways of getting expressed. It can get projected to another person, transformed into a physical symptom, or built up for a bigger future blowup. Some of our behaviors may even be unconscious ways of expressing anger. While there are situations when it’s advisable to express your anger immediately, the very least you can do is acknowledge that it exists. Number four, you can’t control your anger. This myth is related to the second one. As discussed earlier, the fight and flight instinct can make an anger an overwhelming emotion. However, this instinct does not mean that you’re but a slave to your impulses. Awareness of anger dynamics and a conscious effort to rise above your anger can help you regain control of your reactions. Number five, if I don’t get angry, people will think I’m a pushover. It’s true that a person can lose credibility if he makes rules and then ignores violations. However, anger is not the only way a person can show that there are consequences to violations. In fact, the most effective way of instilling discipline in others is to have a calm, non-emotional approach to dealing with rule breakers. Calm and rationality can communicate strength too.
